Avoiding Child Custody-Related Stress During The Holidays

As the calendar year winds down, the holidays arrive in full force.  Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hanukkah, Christmas and New Year’s Day all come  in quick succession, making it the most festive time of the year, and a  period of celebration for families across America. When parents do not  live together, however, the holidays can be stressful for the whole  family. Children may feel anxious if they don’t know where they will  spend the day, and are unsure about how things will work if they are in  an unfamiliar place (very young children in particular may be worried  about how Santa Claus will find them). Parents may be upset that they  don’t get to have Thanksgiving dinner or Christmas morning with their  little ones.

The best way to avoid additional stress on the holidays as a divorced  or separated parent is to plan ahead. When creating a child custody  schedule, many parents include provisions for annual holidays like  Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, Thanksgiving, Hanukkah and Christmas to  ensure that each parent gets ample time with the children on important  days. This doesn’t mean that the days are necessarily split down the  middle, or that everyone is particularly “happy” about the arrangement,  but it does ensure that things are fair.

An example of this would be if the parents’ court-approved custody  and parenting plan provided that the mother would have the children on  Christmas morning in even years, and the father would have them during  that time in odd years. This is an impartial way to give both parents  the opportunity to create holiday memories with the children. It is not  to say that the time couldn’t be negotiated in the future or that  changes aren’t possible if both parties are willing (or if a judge  agrees), but it is definitely a good idea to have at least a preliminary  plan in writing to avoid last-minute disagreements.

It is important for parents to remember, that although they may want  to spend as much time with their children as possible on special days  like these, it is in their children’s best interest to have a quality  relationship with both parents; this includes making positive holiday  memories. By putting negative emotions aside and realizing that the  children come first, it is possible to make it through the holidays  without added stress or arguing. A family lawyer can advise and help you  to create a holiday child custody and parenting schedule that works for your family. For more information about this or any other family  law-related matters, contact experienced Watertown family law attorney Linda Sternberg.